Do You Send Sympathy Card to Family of Suicide

Carly is an artist and therapist who likes to write content that helps others alive mindfully.

Find advice on what to write in a sympathy carte for different situations, equally well as what not to write.

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What to Write

Sympathy cards are the nigh significant cards given and received, for they honor the life of a loved ane and offer comfort to a beloved friend. Those who are grieving detect solace in them. The offset fourth dimension the card is opened, it offers thoughtful empathy to soothe the pain of loss. Unlike other cards for other occasions, this is the bill of fare that might be read over and over again. When the bereaved are seeking comfort late at night or when no ane else is available to offer a empathetic ear, this menu will offer consolation.

Grief and loss are not limited to the funeral. The grief process lasts a lifetime. What you write in a sympathy card is important because information technology can offering comfort whenever the bereaved needs it, time and time once again.

This article offers suggestions on what to write in a sympathy card for the following situations:

• When Yous Knew the Deceased
• When You Did Not Know the Deceased
• For the Loss of a Child
• For the Loss of a Mother or Male parent
• When the Death Was a Suicide

It also offers advice on what not to write, whether you should include money in a sympathy card, and what else you tin practice to support the grieving family unit. Examples of card inscriptions are included too.

When You Knew the Deceased

Commencement, address the family members who the card is being given to. (If you forget, the names are usually spelled correctly in the obituary, or you can telephone call the funeral dwelling house or church building to help with spelling.)

• Dear Jenny,
• Dearest Joan's children,
• Michael,

Inside the card, use the deceased person's name. You will not hurt the families' feelings by acknowledging what they are already feeling and talking well-nigh, and avoiding the obvious makes everyone feel uneasy. You lot are acknowledging a life now gone, there is no skirting around information technology. The bereaved know this and need it to exist best-selling and honored.

• Martha will be missed.
• The world will non exist the same without Tony.
• Serena could calorie-free upward whatsoever room, and I will miss her vibrant personality.
• Eager was an incredible friend to our family unit.

Write about a personal memory or a personality trait that made the person special and remarkable. This will aid the bereaved connect to their loved one. Memories help. For instance, if yous were a adept friend to the adult female xl years agone, when you send a letter to her children, you volition know something about their mother they may not call up or fifty-fifty know. It may exist comforting to read that their female parent used to be the life of the political party, for example, or that she used to bake excellent chocolate chip cookies.

It is also comforting to know that the loved one will non be forgotten. Assure the bereaved that you will remember. For instance you tin can say, "I will always call up Mike's ability to assist others out. Dorsum in 2010, the wintertime in Michigan was brutal. It was Mike, your dad, who came out in the middle of the night to help me jump start my auto. His goodness volition not be forgotten."

When You lot Did Not Know the Deceased

Sometimes, y'all will write a card for the death of a person you've never met before. The carte du jour is for the bereaved (your friend, a co-worker, or a church building or group member maybe), and sending a carte du jour acknowledging what they are going through, fifty-fifty if you lot did not know the deceased, is a compassionate and supportive thing to exercise.

Here are a few suggestions:

• "Dena, I want to acknowledge the loss of your brother. I tin't imagine what you must be going through at present. Know that I am here for you lot and holding you tight in my thoughts and prayers."
• "Dave, I didn't have the chance to meet your female parent, but knowing you she must have been very special for she raised such a wonderful man who is my friend."
• "I am so deeply moved to hear that your begetter died over the weekend. You are not lonely in your loss, for I am here for y'all as a friend."

Read More than From Holidappy

For the Loss of a Child

A death of a child does not make sense. Fifty-fifty if the kid had an illness and the family was aware that the expiry would happen, that still does not ease the hurting. Fifty-fifty if the child had already grown upwardly, a parent's pain is no less profound.

Hither are some suggestions for what to write inside a sympathy carte to the parents whose child died:

• Add a retentivity of the child or state characteristics of the child yous will e'er remember.
• Acknowledge the death. If you cannot admit information technology then the parents volition know you are someone they cannot talk to (because expiry makes you feel uncomfortable).
• Offering comfort.
• Offer ways to be supportive of the family unit, specially if they accept other children to expect after.

Examples:

• "Brianna was such a joy to be around. Her infectious laughter always brought a smiling to my face when I recollect her being giddy around her girlfriends."
• "I can never look at a red truck and not think of Noah. He ever had his reddish truck in his hands. I call up when he left his truck at my house one fourth dimension, and I knew I had to return it that night or he wouldn't go to bed. When I see cherry trucks I will always smile, thinking of Noah."
• "My son Steven will miss his buddy, Luke. The boys always played so well together. I enjoyed having Luke over at my business firm; he was always and then polite and had interesting things to say. Luke had a significant positive influence on Steven. His memory and personality touched us all securely, but Steven most of all. I experience that Luke's influences will live on in Steven for the residuum of his life."
• "Tara will never be forgotten."
• "I do not have the words to say how deplorable I am to hear that A.J. died. A baby dying of SIDS does not make sense. I can't imagine the pain y'all must be going through. Your baby will never be forgotten. Though she was here a short while, her memory volition last a lifetime."

For the Loss of a Mother or Begetter

Losing a parent is 1 the most significant, painful things a person can suffer. No matter what the historic period the child is, losing a parent is never piece of cake. Adult children can be significantly afflicted by the death of their parent. Even as adults, they are still their parent's kid. Those grieving the decease of a parent may feel a wide range of emotions including sadness, regret, acrimony, relief, and abandonment. Writing a sympathy menu for the loss of a parent tin can be a powerful gesture of comfort.

Here are some examples of what to write when someone has lost their parent:

• "Your mom was such an amazing, beautiful woman. I always admired your family from afar and that has a lot to do with your mother. Knowing her has made me a better person."
• "Although your male parent was serenity and kept to himself, his presence on this earth will be significantly missed. He was a tranquillity saint, always doing kind things for others without wanting recognition. He has inspired me to exist a better, more giving person."
• "This boondocks will never be the same without your mother. She was the life, the joy, the humor, and the grace of this community. Her legacy will live on with laughter by the jokes she told me over and over again. Like this joke . . . "
• "If every daughter had a dad similar yours, we would all feel and then loved. He was a role model that I hope more fathers could be like. I remember how he treasured and doted on you, his special daughter. His dear volition always be a office of you lot."
• "Our parents do not need to be perfect in order for u.s. to miss them. I know this is a complicated time of grieving your mother (male parent). We ofttimes grieve what we did not receive from them as the same time we grieve what we did receive."

When the Death Was a Suicide

Suicides exercise not brand sense. The bereaved are left with a thousand broken shards and sometimes a huge burden of guilt and blame. Many people might avoid sending or writing annihilation to a family who is reeling from suicide, but these families also need support and condolences. Taking the time to find a menu and write a notation can be extremely beneficial to their grief process.

Here are some ideas to help ease the pain (remember to e'er acknowledge the proper noun of the person who is deceased):

• "I am and so, and then sorry to hear virtually Ava's death. I cannot imagine the turmoil and pain y'all must be going through."
• "John was such an astonishing swain. This is an unbearable tragedy, and I am hither for you to talk whenever y'all need to."
• "Today does not make sense, tomorrow probably won't either, but the pain of this tragedy volition not e'er hurt every bit bad as it does today."

Suggested Phrases

• Thinking of you lot, wishing you promise in the mist of sorrow, comfort in the midst of hurting.
• Wishing yous promise and peace during this difficult time.
• Remembering with you, the life of your precious son.
• Property you close in my thoughts and prayers.
• I am thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.
• Remember that I dearest and care about y'all tremendously.
• Words seem inadequate to express the sadness I feel almost Serena's decease.
• I am here to back up yous in your grieving process.
• (Proper noun of deceased) brought so many gifts to our life. We will never forget him.
• May your heart and soul find peace and comfort.
• Peace, Prayers and Blessings.

Examples

Dear Paige,

I am deeply moved to hear your husband died. I want to reach out to yous and say y'all are not lonely in this fourth dimension of grief. Only know you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. If my hu g could take some of the pain away, I would hold you tight until you felt a scrap better.

Please have my heartfelt condolences,

Tina

Dearest Chris,

Words cannot adequately express my feelings of sorrow on hearing the expiry of your wife. You and your children are beingness held in my prayers and heart. I would exist happy to lookout the children any time when you just need space to grieve for yourself. No i could ever supercede Martha, she was a dear friend and an amazing female parent. Her mothering and dearest will not stop for she is in each of your children, in their thoughts and especially in their hearts. Her love and wisdom will guide them the rest of their lives. I know this to exist truthful, because I can nonetheless hear Martha'southward laughter and I continued to be touched by her friendship that in some unique manner is giving me condolement now.

I will call you in a calendar week to check on you and your family and also coordinate a good time for me to terminate by one evening. I would similar to bring over a dinner for all of you and maybe take the kids out for ice cream and then you tin have an hour or so break.

With deepest sympathy,

Julie

Beloved Lana,

Your father was such an amazing man and a pleasance to be effectually. I call up when he took u.s.a. on vacation that one summer. We had so much fun together, and I was securely in awe watching how much he loved you and your sisters. Yous are in my deepest thoughts. Your father will exist truly missed. Great men similar your dad are rare.

Nosotros are hither for you day or night whenever you need usa. I accept enclosed a gift menu to Olive Garden. I know Italian food was your dad'due south favorite. May you lot enjoy his retentiveness at dinner. I regret living then far abroad that I can't take yous out, but know I am e'er a phone phone call abroad. I will call to check on you in a few weeks when the funeral preparations take subsided.

Your friend always,

Trina

Dear Jennifer,

Knowing when someone is going to die does not go far whatever easier when it happens. I know your mother had been struggling with her cancer for months, and I know how very difficult this fourth dimension must be for yous at present. If I could soothe your hurting with words of condolement and love, I would say, your mother is no longer in hurting and experiencing the trauma cancer tin bring onto someone. She is at rest and at peace. She is perfect in every way in the God's embrace.

I volition always remember her as vibrant and full of life. Retrieve when she wore that bright orange scarf with her dark-green shirt. We all had a good express mirth because she loved to wear colors but could never seem to match. Today, in honor of your mother I am wearing bright mismatched colors. I hope to bring laughter to those who run across me today, because in reality information technology is her inspiration that will bring laughter to people who encounter me today. Your mother's spirit volition not die with her body. She volition proceed to touch and evoke laughter from me for years to come as I will call back her fondly.

Remembering your mother in dear, light and much laughter,

Bridget

What Non to Write

• I understand how y'all feel. (Mostly anybody dislikes when someone says this. No ane can truly understand how another feels.)
• It was her time. (For the bereaved it never seems like the correct time.)
• God needed her. (So exercise the people still on earth. This argument does non always offer the compassion in the intent it is offered. Peculiarly if information technology is a parent to a child, the child still very much needs a parent.)
• It is for the best. (The best for who? Information technology is difficult when y'all are in the middle of grief to understand what is for the best at that time.)
• At least she is out of her misery. (At that place is a fourth dimension and place to talk nigh the illness and death but a sympathy card ought to reverberate on condolement, not the illness.)
• When my then-and-so died . . . (This is not nearly you.)
• He was a real South.O.B. (All relationships are complicated. Sympathy cards are non the time and place to hash out the negative aspects of the deceased to help ease the pain of others.)
• If you lot need anything, just telephone call. (Although this is generous, nearly who are grieving will not call if they need something. Instead, anticipate what they demand and offer that.)

Should I Include Money in a Sympathy Carte du jour?

In some cultures, generations, and family unit traditions, putting coin inside a sympathy card is customary. Funeral costs are expensive.

Money within a sympathy card can significantly help with funeral costs. Particularly if the death was sudden. Even if $20.00 is put into each carte du jour, the money adds upwardly speedily. Families can employ the money to pay off funeral costs or create a scholarships fund in the memory of the deceased. Sometimes families will donate money towards research or a cause that will prevent others dying in a like way.

During the visitation at the funeral home, there are usually envelopes available for donations. You can do this anonymously or put your proper name on the envelope. The envelopes are inserted into a lock box that volition be given to the family after the visitation.

Delight note, the registration volume at the funeral home offers a manner to support the family in writing thank you notes, and then it is important to write your name and address legibly. This supports the family in writing thank-you notes. Family members may non have all the addresses kept safely, or may not know where to await in regards to writing thank you notes afterwards their loved one died.

Average Funeral Costs

Funeral costs vary between funeral homes, geographic areas, and choices regarding funeral procedures. If you're wondering if you should send money, retrieve the fee for the funeral director'due south services and the price for using the funeral home for the service, the cost for a catafalque or urn, gravesite or vault, grave liner or burying container, headstone, embalming or cremation, cost to dig the grave—non to mention the toll of the obituary, flowers, hearse, church, graveside services, clergy, death document, reception, printed materials, guest volume, and viewing visitation times.

It can easily cost $10,000 or more for funeral expenses.

Other Ways to Support a Family in Mourning

• gift card to a restaurant or Starbucks
• a babysitter
• have their dog for a walk or offer a gift carte to a kennel to have their animals looked after for a twenty-four hours or two
• a casserole or other comforting food
• gift menu to a florist
• a donation to the church building
• a donation to a foundation or research
• a tree
• a plaque or a demote with deceased's name on information technology
• name a star after the deceased
• rake the leaves or mow their lawn

Questions & Answers

Question: What words tin I put in a carte du jour to someone who's brother committed suicide? I didn't know the brother, and I've only met this person twice, but he's a good friend of a good friend.

Reply: This is a difficult note to write. I advise by first, acknowledging the lost.

Here are some ideas to help ease the pain (call up always to acknowledge the name of the person who is deceased):

"I am so, so pitiful to hear well-nigh Ava's death. I cannot imagine the turmoil and hurting you must be going through."

"This is an unbearable tragedy, and I am here for you to talk whenever you need to."

"Today does not make sense, tomorrow probably won't either, but the pain of this tragedy will non always hurt as bad every bit information technology does today."

© 2012 Carly Sullens

dandy from Home Sweet Abode on October 25, 2015:

wonderful quotes for the departed ones. I similar" The world will not be the same without Tony.:" makes the person specially special

Carly Sullens (writer) from St. Louis, Missouri on February 18, 2015:

brsmom, thank you. I am glad you found information technology useful. Thank you for sharing.

Diane Ziomek from Alberta, Canada on February xiii, 2015:

I always have problem writing in a sympathy card, and writing is my career. This couldn't take come up at a amend fourth dimension for me, as I have an upcoming funeral for my smashing-aunt. I am sharing this one with my followers.

Carly Sullens (author) from St. Louis, Missouri on Apr 21, 2014:

Thanks Kenneth. I capeesh you stopping by and leaving a comment. I will go along to check out your writings. I am already a follower of you. :)

Kenneth Avery from Hamilton, Alabama on April 19, 2014:

Carly, I am glad that I revisited this once again. I took a expect at the section on HOW Not to write things in sympathy cards and it is true. I have received many with mostly these aforementioned examples.

This is a wonderful hub. A corking read. Very helpful and informative. I voted up and away. I admimre your writing style and know that only good things will happen to you with works like this.

I am following you and left you some fan mail. I cordially invite you to bank check out my hubs and be a follower of mine. That would make my day.

Peace.

Thou.

Kenneth Avery from Hamilton, Alabama on November 05, 2013:

Honey Carly,

Girl, you lot nailed it. Voted upward and away on this very-nice, in-depth hub.

Honey how you limited yourself.

Keep up the smashing piece of work.

Bronwen Scott-Branagan from Victoria, Australia on June 20, 2013:

Cheers for writing such a helpful article. Sometimes we just get and so stuck for how to express what nosotros want to say. Yous have said it so beautifully.

Carly Sullens (author) from St. Louis, Missouri on June 07, 2013:

Cheers for stoping by epbooks. I am glad you establish this hope useful.

Elizabeth Parker from Las Vegas, NV on June 06, 2013:

This is fantastic. I think y'all've described how many of united states feel but couldn't quite put into words. And - very smart to anticipate what the person grieving might need. And so true that near won't come out and ask for assist.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean area on April eighteen, 2013:

From feelings to funeral costs, you seem to comprehend everything. Then thoughtful and so well presented.

catgypsy from the Southward on April 17, 2013:

Something I got a lot of when my parents passed (they were both in their 80's) was, "How quondam was your dad?" When I'd say 85, they'd say "Oh, well...he had a full life." Same with my mom. It was and so painful hearing this, like considering they were old, information technology didn't affair and was to be expected. Great hub!

dhairya on December 09, 2012:

this is very nice imformation

Vespa Woolf from Peru, Due south America on October 08, 2012:

This is very useful information. No matter how many times I've written a sympathy card, I always accept to review how to write i that is meaningful for each family. All your tips are valid and I've marked this for future reference. I just wrote a sympathy carte last month and I wish I'd had this valuable resource so. Thank you then much!

Dianna Mendez on September twenty, 2012:

Voted up for all the wonderful suggestions. This is certainly a helpful hub for those times of sorrow. Love the souvenir ideas and the posting of the costs. WEll done!!!

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on September 18, 2012:

First-class resource Carly! Good to have y'all back! I know these are great suggestions because they come from a empathetic woman.

stillwaters707 from Texas on September eighteen, 2012:

Thank you for such usable examples. It's a tough task, so it helps those who desire to offer comfort and don't know how.

Ruth Pieterse on September 18, 2012:

Such a well thought out hub. Voted up and useful.

Life Nether Structure from Neverland on September 17, 2012:

it was her time...at to the lowest degree she was out of her misery..it's for the all-time.. that's what i got when my grandma died and i experience like punching that person on the face..you're right that we should not include this while symphatizing. it's not really good to hear. thank you too for the suggestions.

Janine Huldie from New York, New York on September 17, 2012:

Carly, I take pinned this to exist able to refer back to, because sometimes the right wods are hard to come by when has indeed lost a loved one. Your article really does requite some perfect examples and volition definitely being using them when I practise demand. Have of course voted and shared besides!

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Source: https://holidappy.com/greeting-cards/What-To-Write-Inside-A-Sympathy-Card

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